Are you limiting your potential?

I am not sure where to start with this post...I have had an interesting week. I think I would like to work through the whole self-confidence thing. Self-confidence has always been a struggle.

I have worked for years to convince others that I have it all together. This has worked well. Most folks have no idea...well, until I started Camp Gladiator. The folks I work out with have seen me cry more times than I like to admit. There is just something about exercise that breaks me down, but this makes me stronger.

Camp Gladiator has made me realize that I am not alone in my struggle. We all have our insecurities. I have spent a good amount of time thinking about mine. Many of them are based on how I think I am supposed to look based on what the world says. Have you watched TV recently? The commercials that come on very rarely have larger folks in them. Have you opened a magazine in the last few weeks? All of their advertisers use small folks too. I have a very warped idea of what I am supposed to look like...

Scott and I watched the end of the Miss America pageant. Beautiful, thin women strutting their stuff on stage. The winner is a beautiful women! In the days after, I was shocked by all of the news about the pageant. One of the other contestants was in the news...she is a size 4 and was upset about point deductions in the swimsuit competition. Evidently, she was too big. Huh? Size 4 and too big? How in the world am I supposed to have a healthy self image when a size 4 is too big? That's just crazy!

Here is what I decided. I am looking in the wrong place to set a standard for myself. Now, don't get all worked up when I say this, but I am okay being bigger than most women. I really don't want to be a size 4. I don't think I was ever a size 4. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to be surrounded by people that care about me for who I am and not what I look like. I want people to encourage me on  my journey and check on me when they see the tears or notice a change in the way I interact with others. I want to be an encourager. I want more out of my life.

I came across this on facebook:

It says it all. By myself I am not able...with God I am. Are you working too hard to be something you are not? Stop it!

Be blessed!