Thursday, June 26, 2014

Trying Not to Drown!

This whole eat better thing is HARD!!! I made more positive choices than negative, but I really struggled. I feel like I am swimming, but cannot keep my head above the water. Today, I found out that someone close to me is having health issues and instead of going to the treadmill, I went to the food. I am still an emotional eater.

In the past, this behavior would have made me numb to the news. Tonight, it didn't. Instead of the comfort from the food, I am dealing with feeling of guilt for a choice that I know was not healthy. I feel like I have failed miserably and that somehow the people around me are going to think less of me because of it. My insecurities are really showing. I know that the people that really know me know that I am still struggling. Hey, I am pretty open about my struggles.

I am a people pleaser. I don't like conflict and I don't like to let people down, especially people that I care about. I know that I am way harder on myself than anyone could ever be on me, but it still makes me uneasy. I have to learn that I need to focus on me and worry less about what others think.

I also need to replace this need to run to food with something healthier...so, I will be working on this. I will go to the treadmill instead of the refrigerator.

Still a work in progress and thankful for this journey (even when it is hard)!

Be blessed!

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