And then there is this...

This has been one heck of a week!  I am so sore and my emotions have been all over the place. I have discovered that working out brings all of my stress and insecurities to the surface.

Yep, after the high of loosing 9.4 lbs, I hit a low. Thursday's workout was not a positive experience for me at all!  I left feeling a half inch tall.  It started with a couple of the girls that encourage me not being at camp and was followed by many tasks that my body just would not allow me to do. We had to get in a line and pass a 20 lb medicine ball from person to person while jogging. The last person in line had to run the ball to the first person. I was the last person in line. Of course, I have a hard time keeping pace with the others and it didn't help that the person in the front of the line was a boy between 10 and 12 years old.  I ran nearly a block carrying that stupid ball.  I was supposed to lead the line.  I tried.  I made it about thirty or so feet and had to bow out.  I puffed my inhaler and started walking behind the others. I was so mad.

I left the workout mad and very discouraged.  I even considered not attending the after camp get together. I am glad that I didn't skip.  Both of the girls that I missed at workout were there! I got to visit with them and we all laughed hysterically. I also got to visit with Bethany. I explained to her that I didn't feel good about the workout and that I felt very discouraged. I even told her I threw up. You know what she said? "Good.  That means I kicked your butt tonight!" Not what I was expecting to hear.  Then she said, "You have to be broken down for God to build you back up." Hmmm, something I have not ever thought of about working out...but it is true. The release associated with the physical exercise is amazing.  All of the junk I am dealing with comes to the surface and I have to deal with it. Makes me cry, makes my flaws obvious, makes me vulnerable, but in the end, it makes me strong.

Had I been working out in 2003,I probably would not have had that breakdown. There is something about working out that brings balance to my body.  It is hard to explain, but I challenge you, no matter your age, weight, physical/mental condition, to get up and get moving. It is not easy to get started, but with the right support you can do it. I am willing to go on the journey with you, so get up and let's get started. I believe you can, do you?

Be blessed!